Category Archives: Weather

Snow, French Toast, and the Mob

“Hey. You ever go in the supermarket and see all those people buying crap because there’s snow coming?”

This was my same friend who explained how organized crime is behind New York’s construction of all those roundabouts. “You mean the bread and milk and eggs thing?”

“Yeah. You know who makes that happen?”

Uh-oh… here it comes.

“The mob. Everybody knows they control mozzarella cheese. What you don’t know is they’re all over eggs, milk… and bakeries.”

Wait a second. “But those sound like legitimate businesses…”

“They are! But here’s the thing: they get the weather guy on TV to say its going to snow like nuts, and all these people run out and buy things they don’t need. Look at this week. Weatherman says it’s gonna snow and everybody freaks out.”

“But how…”

“Payoffs. Extortion. Threats. Turn the screws on those guys and they’ll say anything. The mob’s got long arms. Forecast calls for two feet of snow, everybody runs to the store, and cha-ching.”

“Cha-ching?”

“Cha-freakin-ching, my friend. Cha-freakin-ching.”

It sounded plausible, but that was after a few drinks. Certainly something to think about the next time you make French toast on a snowy day.

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About the Weather

The dogs have no complaints.

Stick your head outside. That low rumble you hear is not a plow approaching or snow shifting on the roof, it’s the sound of people complaining

I don’t know if there’s more meteorologist bashing than usual lately, but during these dreadful weeks in the height of winter it reaches a fever pitch.

So why all the weatherman bashing? Because we’ve been programmed to expect accuracy.

For years, local TV has promised that their guy is the smartest, most experienced, and best at forecasting the weather. Nobody knows your weather better than he does. And along with his merry team of meteorologists, he will protect you and your family from weather related death and mayhem.

Please refer to EXHIBIT A.

This makes the meteorologists a little uncomfortable. They will be the first to tell you that predicting the weather is not an exact science, and that there are many variables that can influence what happens.

The public doesn’t really get this, so conventional wisdom holds that they’re wrong all the time.

There’s a reason they call it a forecast and not a promise.