Snow, French Toast, and the Mob

“Hey. You ever go in the supermarket and see all those people buying crap because there’s snow coming?”

This was my same friend who explained how organized crime is behind New York’s construction of all those roundabouts. “You mean the bread and milk and eggs thing?”

“Yeah. You know who makes that happen?”

Uh-oh… here it comes.

“The mob. Everybody knows they control mozzarella cheese. What you don’t know is they’re all over eggs, milk… and bakeries.”

Wait a second. “But those sound like legitimate businesses…”

“They are! But here’s the thing: they get the weather guy on TV to say its going to snow like nuts, and all these people run out and buy things they don’t need. Look at this week. Weatherman says it’s gonna snow and everybody freaks out.”

“But how…”

“Payoffs. Extortion. Threats. Turn the screws on those guys and they’ll say anything. The mob’s got long arms. Forecast calls for two feet of snow, everybody runs to the store, and cha-ching.”

“Cha-ching?”

“Cha-freakin-ching, my friend. Cha-freakin-ching.”

It sounded plausible, but that was after a few drinks. Certainly something to think about the next time you make French toast on a snowy day.

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6 responses to “Snow, French Toast, and the Mob

  1. Well that explains it (the nutjob weathermen, that is)

  2. I was only five, living in Rochester, NY during the “Blizzard of ’66.” Things were so bad that women literally attacked the delivery men as they brought bread and milk into the grocery stores.

    Only years later did I realize how much those guys must have enjoyed themselves that day!

  3. Tony Baggadonuts

    Hey, Rob: Nice blog you got here. It would be a real shame if something happened to it…

  4. You made this up- YOU HAD TO. Unless..well, now we know who listens to Coast to Coast AM.

  5. Clearest explanation for roundabouts I’ve read yet.

    Despite what DOT says, I really don’t think they are the future:
    Blade Runner – No Roundabouts
    Star Wars – No Roundabouts (Ewoks skinned the guy)
    Fifth Element – No Roundabouts
    Alien – Roundabout guy last seen wearing a face-sucker…

    • I’ve come to love driving through roundabouts, especially the ones in Slingerlands. This is proof that I’m becoming more amused as I get older.

      The ones up at Exit 12 are pretty awesome, too.

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