Topless Piñatas

Here’s funny story from sunny California, involving a store selling piñatas designed to look like exotic dancers — out in plain view of (gasp) children. People are upset about kids seeing these weird naked piñatas, but nobody has any problem with the idea of drunken men at a bachelor party taking a stick and beating on an effigy of a stripper. Women’s rights activists would have a field day with this one.

Reminds me of a story, of course.

The best birthday party ever was the pirate party for my son, who was probably seven at the time. We dressed the kids up as pirates, had a huge treasure hunt with maps, face painting, and games. It was an awesome hot summer day at the town park.

Something possessed me to buy a pig piñata at Party Warehouse — and that’s when the trouble began. I know you’ll think I’m making this up, but when they began swinging madly at this thing, they started chanting “Kill the pig.” Then, when my older son appeared at the town park with his friends, this wild gang of hyped up, sugar-fueled animals attacked them with water balloons and tried to drag them off their bikes.

Then, to top things off, a thunderstorm appeared from nowhere and the sky broke open. The parents looked horrified when they came to pick up their wide-eyed, filthy, soaking wet kids. It was, as David Paterson might say, chaos and anarchy! And a great success.


3 responses to “Topless Piñatas

  1. Like “Lord of the Flies”…..

  2. For sure, Rob, you must have bought your kids the joke shop standards like the pack of gum that snaps your finger, the pen that gives a mild electrical shock, and fake dog poop. I’m going to be hugely disappointed in you if your boys have never owned fake dog poop!

  3. Tony: it was exactly like Lord of the Flies. I have no idea where those kids that age heard the phrase “Kill the pig.”

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