There was a story in the news last week that said exposure to BPA, a chemical commonly used in plastics, may cause erectile dysfunction.
That’s great: everybody is walking around with water bottles and now you tell us that plastic is making men wilty.
Is it merely a coincidence that the explosion in the bottled water industry parallels the skyrocketing growth of drugs used to treat erectile dysfunction? Imagine instead that the water bottles are being used as a delivery system for BPA. The plot? Immerse American men in BPA, inflict erectile dysfunction, and then sell them drugs to fix it.
Twenty-five years ago bottled water was something you saw in five gallon jugs sitting on top of water coolers. Sure, you could buy stuff like Perrier and Evian, but that was from Europe and viewed as sort of foreign and effete. Then one day bottled water was suddenly everywhere. This may have been the work of brilliant entrepreneurs who figured out you’d pay big money for tap water —or something more sinister.
There you have it: an entire generation of well-hydrated but under-achieving men. This is John Grisham stuff. If I suddenly disappear off the street you’ll know it had something to do with the secret alliance between Big Pharma and the bottled water cartel.